Selena Gomez was seen in Miami arriving at a studio to visit Justin Bieber. There he is opening the door for her. I'm impressed this is still going on. Seriously. I thought it would be maybe six months of on and off. At their age, they should be able to work it out of their systems in that amount of time. When I was 21 years old, I fell hard but I also got over it real fast. Is it because they feel harder and loved deeper? Don't vom on me just yet. I have more. 

It's been over a year now. Over a year of this come and go. In that time he's had his way with strippers and prostitutes and she's been to rehab. Then Taylor Swift decided to hang out with supermodels and Lorde and Selena had even fewer options. The last we saw them he was visiting her in Texas and they made a slow dance video. Don’t make me show you that slow dance video again. I actually kind of want to see it again.

OMG it doesn’t get old.

What I'm saying is that I could totally see them getting married. And I don't mean in 5 or 6 years. I mean in, like, the summer. On a night after they f-ck the sh-t out of each other, buzzed out of their minds, and those promises are made in the haze. You know that haze. If you've seen the Pam and Tommy sex tape you definitely know that haze. Actually surprised it hasn't happened already.