On the subject of perspective…

I’ve written about it so many times, what heartbreak is like at that age – so singular and isolating, so…narcissistic. You don’t think anyone has ever hurt the way you hurt. You think you INVENTED hurt. Despite what she posted on Instagram from backstage at rehearsal, about wanting people to relate, really, this kind of pain is an emotional cave that was created for only one inhabitant at a time. 


A video posted by Selena Gomez (@selenagomez) on

You only realise, truly realise, later that heartbreak is utterly prosaic. At some point, you might even recognise the signs of self-indulgence. Unless, of course, you’re a celebrity. A celebrity who gets upset when you bring up her ex-boyfriend but ends up invoking his image in the shower, scaring the sh-t out of everyone because we thought for a minute that he might come out of the shower. (If I’m honest, I was also excited at the same time.) A celebrity who needs Jesus to get through both the performance and to get over Justin Bieber.

In 5 years, how is she going to feel about needing Jesus – who, I would imagine, is pretty busy these days – to get over JUSTIN BIEBER???

I would understand if she needed Jesus to get over Idris Elba. That would require the Holy Trinity. But can you imagine one day having to remember, when you scroll through your memories, that you were so f-cked up over JUSTIN BIEBER that Jesus’s assistance was required?

And you have to know he was watching too. So that’s also what you give him – the satisfaction of knowing that his love is so devastatingly powerful, it can shatter the pieces of your heart all over the stage at the American Music Awards? Maybe I’m old school but I’d never give him the satisfaction.