The thing with Seth MacFarlane is that the man creates all kinds of characters. I feel like you watch one of his episodes of his shows and you’ve seen them all, but let’s say for the sake of argument that they’re varied, at least a little bit -- in short, that he’s the kind of person who actually understands how human beings work.

Tonight I learned that this is not, in fact, the case. Theoretically, writers spend their lives trying to understand the human condition so they can put it onscreen, but MacFarlane’s bitchy misogynistic joke after women-are-stupid-in-myriad-ways joke tells me that he’s never tried to understand people, let alone women. No wonder all his characters are animated or animatronic – they can say the stupid things that no human would dare – until now. 

Let’s see…

Was it hair-shaming the Kardashians for not being as effortlessly hairless as his beloved Emilia Clarke that pissed me off so much? (He’s dating the Khaleesi, which is going to wind up being a regret of hers one of these fine days.) It couldn’t have been the boob song, could it?, where, in the space where film careers of the entire community were supposed to be celebrated,  MacFarlane decided to reduce all their acting to a discussion of their body parts, because that’s humorous? Or was it the similar reduction of the incredible Maya in Zero Dark Thirty to a woman who “just can’t let sh-t go”?

I’m not going to wonder if we’re serious with this because the Academy clearly thought we were. They clearly didn’t care if I was offended, after all, I’m just a viewer who’s supposed to be swayed by their (really, really chintzy) promotional hotel cards at the end of the show. I know too that they won’t listen to me say that I can appreciate a good joke, and that the fact that these jokes are sexist in the extreme has nothing to do with the fact that they’re ALSO patently unfunny. MacFarlane’s jokes didn’t land and, if they were for white males, MacFarlane couldn’t have had a better audience so…what’s his excuse?

But I do wonder how MacFarlane ever got himself into a situation where he has any claim to write female characters because clearly, to him, women are just sex toys with fun bags that unfortunately come with voice-boxes.

Go on, tell me I’m wrong.