Dear Gossips,

Between Shakira’s jam and Olivia Wilde’s salad dressing, food is becoming gossip. And specifically gossip about broken celebrity relationships. As we have seen from these two examples though, what makes good food gossip is that the food is basic. These aren’t Michelin dishes. Ordinary food is giving gourmet gossip – and that’s part of the secret sauce to why these stories have become so wildly shared and debated.

If, however, you still haven’t quite heard what all the jam fuss was about, the short story is that Shakira is supposedly the only person who f-cks with jam in the household. So when she returned home to find that someone had been repeatedly messing with her jam, she became suspicious, and that’s how she busted Gerard Pique. This is really just an internet theory but it’s taken off and it’s been a week of people sharing their jam equivalent experiences on social media. Here’s a tweet that got a lot of traction – she uncovered the infidelity from a smoothie order:

As Maria shared yesterday in Celebrity Social Media, the jam has even infiltrated Paris Haute Couture Week:

If the jam really was the smoking gun, it could also explain why Shakira is dragging his mother. There’s the lyric, “You left me with my mother-in-law as my neighbour” (an instant classic diss track lyric) and of course the whole thing about Shakira positioning a witch on her balcony facing the MIL’s house. Because let’s say Shakira was tipped off by the jam. The way I imagine it going down, she can’t ignore her intuition so she goes looking for more evidence. That’s when you not only try to get into the text messages but also review the cameras in the house. The cameras are positioned inside and outside, perhaps with a few of her MIL’s place. And if the MIL was also entertaining the other woman… well… call me petty but I would keep that f-cking grudge forever too.

Earlier this week, an old video resurfaced of Shakira's interaction with Gerard’s mother, Montserrat Bernabeau with people playing Video Assumption (our favourite game of baseless conclusions) on the energy exchanged between the two of them:

Gerard, meanwhile, made it Instagram official with Clara Chia yesterday which feels like a taunt. Because the worst thing that could happen is if Shakira stopped talking about him. And she’s getting there. Which means his irrelevance begins soon.

Attached - Shakira greeting fans from her balcony in Barcelona.

Yours in gossip,

Lainey

Shakira Gossip

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