Look…I get it that dudes get off on images involving suggestive liquids. Like a mudfight. Or a jello bath. Or milk running down the side of a woman’s mouth. Madonna’s Express Yourself video.

I get it.

What I don’t get is the rationale from the boys at Details for this Shannen Doherty photo shoot. A jug of orange juice between her legs. I might not have a penis, but I know this is not quivering. I know it doesn’t conjure up carnal images of citrus sex. What it does conjure up however is John Mayer’s urine.

To me it looks like John Mayer peed into a container and she was still holding it when the photographer came over.

Dumb.

But at least it was a good interview. And it turns out, Brenda grew up and Brenda grew nice. She’s close with her parents who’ve been married 40 years. She spends a lot of time with her horses, enjoying the outdoors, trying not to attract attention. And she’s also very honest about her motivations, Brenda-style. I particularly appreciate her response when asked why she brought Brenda back. Seriously, how Brenda is this answer?

“I don’t spend any time on the Internet. I used to, but then I’d cry myself to sleep, thinking everyone in the world hates me. So I stopped. But when the news came that they were bringing back 90210, friends started e-mailing me stuff from fan sites that said Brenda had to be on the show. I can pay my mortgage and ride my horses because of those fans. This is how I can repay them.”

Thank you Shannen. Too bad the new show sucks, although that’s hardly your fault.

As for her romantic foibles, Shannen’s the first to admit she has sucky taste in men. And she has a few choice words for Ebola too. Remember, Ebola’s sex tape partner was none other than Shannen’s then-husband:

“Um, I think I’ve admitted I haven’t made the best choices in men. (But) there was something that Rick provided that was amazing to me. I look at what he did [with Hilton] and think, God, that’s disgusting. But when we were married, I never had someone make me laugh so much. I was madly in love. It was a really hard marriage. When it ended, it was a heart-crushing thing.”

To see more of Shannen in Details and to read the article in full, click here.