It was reported yesterday that Shia LaBeouf had left the Broadway production of Orphans starring Tom Sturridge and Alec Baldwin. Shia and Alec? Those two hotheads? In hindsight, of course it was impossible, disastrous even. But it may have been more than just the two of them yelling at each other. It might have to do with the fact that Shia LaBeouf is, well, Shia LaBeouf.

Producers confirmed Shia’s departure yesterday, releasing a statement explaining that Shia was out of the play due to “creative differences”. Sources tell the New York Times that Daniel Sullivan, the director of Orphans, “had become worried about Mr. LaBeouf and his performance choices in the emotionally volatile and ultimately tragic role. Mr. Sullivan spoke at length with both Mr. LaBeouf and the producers about his concerns.”

Performance choices...?

There’s a director and then there’s an actor, and if the director’s not feeling the actor’s “performance choices”, either he thinks the actor sucks (and Shia doesn’t suck) or the actor isn’t taking the direction because he thinks he knows better -- the nice way of saying it is “creative differences”.

It doesn’t sound like it was just Alec Baldwin who was on Shia’s sh-t list. It sounds like Shia was an artistic problem for everyone all around. Here’s a guy who showed up drunk on moonshine on the set of Lawless and dropped acid for The Necessary Death Of Charlie Countryman and f-cked someone for real in Nymphomaniac. Shia needs TO FEEL. Too much. Because ...he’s an emotional taker? Totally. Even when he’s sharing he’s really only taking.

In response to the news that he’d no longer be involved in Orphans, Shia released a series of emails exchanged between him and Sullivan, Baldwin, and even Tom Sturridge that suggest that even though the decision made was difficult, it’s cool between all of them, no bitterness remains. These messages were posted...on Twitter. I’ve attached the images below in this order:

- Shia’s email to producers and Alec, with a specific apology to Alec, because he’s a real “man”
- Alec Baldwin’s response to Shia, assuring him that it was all good
- An email from Tom Sturridge (who’s playing the other brother in the Orphans story) to Shia basically telling him he thinks he’s the greatest actor and person ever.

If the images are not clear enough, you can see them here, then here, and finally here.

Fine. Shia LaBeouf knows how to apologise LIKE A MAN. And they’re not mad at each other anymore and it sounds like there’s still a lot of respect that remains because HE’S A MAN. Great.

But making things right with your colleagues wasn’t the motivation in publicising their messages here, was it? This wasn’t about making things right. Things were clearly, in private, already right, or at least resolved. What this was about is vanity, disguised as a lack of vanity.

Look at me, I’m man enough to let people see I make mistakes and I’ve offered myself to my peers as sacrifice.

Look at me, I’m so man I’ve been able to earn forgiveness.

Look at me, I’m so man that even when I f-ck up, I’m still the best person for the job, so says the guy who was supposed to work with me.

Look at me.

Look at me.

Look at me.

Oh, right. There you are. It’s the Child Star, see?

By the way, he also posted a video of his Orphans audition at the same time as his apology and subsequent forgiveness. You know, just to let you know that the play will now have to go on without his brilliance. Of course. Of course he did.

my audition from grassyslope on Vimeo.