Can you remember the last time Johnny Depp was single? Johnny does not stay single for long. There wasn’t much time at all between Winona Ryder and Kate Moss, even less time, I think, between Kate and Vanessa Paradis, and no time between Vanessa and Amber Heard.

Here’s Johnny last night at the Vidiots Foundation event to honour Harry Dean Stanton. Have you ever been in a group photo and everyone’s trying to organise themselves and someone says, oh, I don’t want to stand next to x or y because they’re younger/thinner/whatever? If this has never been your experience, congratulations, clearly you are more enlightened. Anyway, this is what I thought about looking at these shots of Johnny surrounded by older men. And whether or not he must love this because, well, next to them, maybe in his mind the grossness that has taken over his face and his reputation might not be so obvious. Same applies when he’s with his band, The Hollywood Vampires, and hanging out with Alice Cooper and Joe Perry. You can squint and lie to yourself that this Johnny is still the one you remember. The moment he has to pose with, say, someone who is as pretty now as he used to be though, like beautiful Brenton Thwaites, the young actor in the new Pirates movie with him, the truth becomes harder to ignore.