That was the nickname I gave Elisabetta Canalis. Who? She was the one before Stacy Keibler, you remember? What would Canalis say today now that she and Keibler are in the same category? Keibler came out with more though, non?

Anyway, Italian Queen-ing Canalis was meant for jokes. Where Sophia Loren is concerned however, I mean it pure, for serious.

Check her out in Naples today on the set of a new film being directed by her son Edoardo Ponti. It's majesty and amazingness. It's how Mariah Carey imagines herself. Now here is a proper Drama Queen.

Sophia Loren, as you would expect, is very particular about the way she's lit. Lighting her is one my favourite stories. I've told it before but it's one worth repeating. Lighting a shoot is a skill. Yes, the equipment is important, of course. But a great cameraperson can light a set well without the top of the line Oprah filters. I know this because I work with one. His name is Donovan. He is a perfectionist. He is a pain in the ass, he is such a perfectionist. But it's worth it.

Donovan once lit Sophia Loren. If Sophia Loren doesn't like her lighting, she will do an interview with her sunglasses on, and I don't have to tell you how sh-tty this is for television. Also, you might get a look like this:

However, if Sophia Loren approves of the lighting, she will wordlessly take her sunglasses off. What more needs to be said? Women like Sophia Loren know how to make statements without actually having to make a statement. Please. You love it.

Donovan lit Sophia. She took off her sunglasses. We should all be lit by Donovan, every day of our lives.