Only caught a quick glimpse of Natalie Portman and her new man. She is SO small. And that skirt is shorter than you think. The outfit also looks better than it photographs. Portman was having a word with Carey Mulligan. It was all I could do not to have a Sapphic meltdown all over the grand piano.

Mulligan stayed close to Maggie Gyllenhaal most of the time, with Peter Sarsgaard coming in and out of their little area. Maggie was sitting when I saw her and since what she’s wearing on Sunday will eclipse anything else, I didn’t care to wait around. We were hungry and we had ordered a steak.

There was no boyfriend with Carey but his poor man’s imitation showed up in a hoodie and jeans. Who? Emile Hirsch. Who? You know, that guy from Into the Wild. Who? You know, the one everyone thinks is Shia LaBeouf but isn’t.

Oh. Him.

At the end of the night Hirsch was sharing a booth with Joaquin Phoenix and I imagine that they were stroking each other’s inner actors. Or breaking down song lyrics. Not entirely sure that Phoenix was aware he wasn’t talking to Shia either. It was a crowded semi circle, the two of them in the middle, and sycophants surrounding, including a short haired blonde in a gauzy white low cut floor length gown who was literally hanging off Phoenix, with her arm around him and her chin propped on his shoulder, not participating in the conversation, looking bored and tired, and when he got up to leave, she made like she was going with him, only 10 minutes later she was back so perhaps she didn’t hit her mark.

Joaquin is clean-shaven, not unattractive, maybe a little heavy around the waist, handsome again yes, but there’s something about his expression: it’s mean, the kind of face my mother says is like a warning sign to stay away.

And if Jason Bateman hasn’t aged, I can assure you neither has Matt Dillon. He stayed in the same banquette, beautiful women everywhere, devilishly handsome, which prompted Dan and I to reminisce about when he and Cammie D were together. That must have been the hottest sh-t ever.

More to come...including the Madonna Quinto conclusion.


File photos from Wenn.com and Soho photos courtesy of Richard Young/Grey Goose