I’ve pretty much gone off football these days. I’ve loved football my whole life, but I can’t take it anymore. I can’t pretend like someone being good at running and catching stuff somehow indemnifies them from being a decent person. Not even a good person—just f*cking baseline don’t-hit-anyone decent. I can’t shake my head in disgust in Tuesday but cheer on Sunday. I’m tapping out.
But I am still watching the NFL—and the NCAA, they’re not exempt—getting raked over the coals in the court of popular opinion. For everything they’ve swept under the rug (cough*concussions*cough), for every dog and pony show they have and are subjecting us to (they’re hiring the investigators who will investigate them, for chrissakes), I take visceral pleasure in watching members of the media lay into them. It’s no less than they deserve. It’s not like any real punitive action will be taken—the least we can do is enjoy their discomfort.
On Sunday we hit peak discomfort when Comedy Central aired a commercial for the new season of South Park which featured Cartman squaring off with Dan Snyder, owner of the Washington Entitled Twats, DURING the Twats’ game. If you don’t follow sports, Snyder’s team has a racial epithet for a name, one I happen to take personally and so refuse to use it. I’ve never liked it, I’ve always been bothered by it, and for years I’ve had to endure people explaining why it’s okay to use the word “redskin” as a team name.
They give me reasons like history and tradition and “it’s meant as an honor, really”. No it isn’t. “Redskin” has never been meant as an honor. It’s a slur. It’s an insult. It’s a denigration. It reduces an entire race of people to their lowest common denominator. Sure, it’s an historical word. But it belongs to a history of cruelty, racism, and genocide. You can probably think of some other historical words that do the same to other non-white people in America.
But the controversy over the Washington football team name is not about racism, or genocide, or history, or honor, or whatever bullsh*t is being spouted this week. It’s about one thing: Entitlement. Some people feel entitled to use a word, no matter how often or how loudly they’re told that it’s hurtful. They want to use it because they’ve always been allowed to use it, so they’re just going to keep right on using it because f*ck you.
In less than sixty seconds, Matt Stone and Trey Parker stone cold nailed how tactless, base, and profane the Washington Entitled Twats are, and anyone who defends their right to use a RACIAL SLUR for a team name. And I hope that this upcoming Daily Show segment embarrasses the sh*t out of everyone involved and the team and their supporters, too. I don’t give a flying f*ck about Dan Snyder, or the Washington Entitled Twats, or the fans that would choose football over respect.
I don’t care if you go to church every Sunday, give a bunch of money to good causes, or tuck your kids in every night. If you think it’s okay to use a goddamned racial epithet for a team name, then you’re a racist. There’s no defense other than “I want to use it so f*ck you.” As long as you insist on keeping that name, you will eat every ounce of sh*t shoveled your way. You will take every public flogging, you will hear every person who calls you racist, and you will suffer the f*cking indignity of being called out on national television and being made into a punchline. If you want to call your team that, then I get to call you a twat. Because you are one.