Susan doesn’t need a Third Lip

Lainey Posted by Lainey at November 25, 2009 13:22:31 November 25, 2009 13:22:31

For those new to the site: We Asians look young for a long time. I still get carded for alcohol sometimes. But the thing about Asians is that as soon as 60 comes around, it’s old and fast and overnight. One day you go to bed and it’s all good. Wake up the next morning and 70 years of your life is written all over your face. There’s nothing gradual about it and it’s terrifying.

My mother is 60 this year. I went home two weeks ago and it happened. She keeps looking in the mirror and wondering where she went. I know you want to feel for her, but it’s hard when in the next breath she’s barking at you for bringing her bad luck at the casino. Squawking Chicken’s new mission is to find a miracle potion that will restore her skin. So I pointed out a photo of Nicole Kidman and she said she looked like an embalmed body in a casket: “Choy! Why you want goodbye mommy so soon?”

Choy is slang for…


Like if someone says something blasphemous, you answer them by yelling out CHOY!

F-cking Granny Freeze cost me another $100 for that one.

Anyway, Susan Sarandon is 63. She was at The Lovely Bones premiere in London last night. We should all be so lucky. And I believe it. There is no work here. This is all genetic. Check it – she’s flirting with the prince. Still has it. Will always have it.

Photos from

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