Written by Sasha

For the last 5 years I’ve been working the Fashion beat at TIFF. And I’ll be honest: it’s sad seeing fashion that I can’t currently afford but it’s a cool way to get a few style cues from celebrities for the season ahead. It’s typically hotter than a mutha’ during the festival but the stars are definitely showing off fall! So once the fashion starts rolling in I’ll have more to say about what to look out for. But, in the meantime there are a few famous faces that I can’t wait to see. Unlike most people who work in the fashion industry I don’t really like talking about fashion’s deeper meaning. I like how f*cked or fantastic it looks. Period. Stars are pretty reliable when it comes to their red carpet style, so it’s pretty easy to make some loose predictions on what we we’ll see.

If there is anybody I’d like to play face-off with it would be Natalie Portman. To me, she is flawless - her wavy hair, her perfectly sculpted brows, her porcelain skin, and on and on. When it comes to what she wears, she really can do no wrong. Below is a picture of Portman in one of my favorites. She looks so goddamn gorgeous in this pink flowery Lanvin. It’s so girly, without being obnoxious. And her makeup—pure glow. Like, hurt my eyes rip off my face and sew on hers, kinda glow. Now, it’s been noted before, Natalie is a vegan and as a result this vastly limits her shoe choices. And if there is one downfall it’s that her shoes suck ass. But whatever she slipped on that night was by far the best I’ve ever seen on her—they even feel a bit Louboutin-y. Natalie will be here this week for Black Swan, and no doubt she’ll be bringing an element of ballerina beauty - think something long and maybe some lace. And the designer of choice will more likely than not be Rodarte, seeing as the duo designed the costumes for the film. Here are two dresses from Rodarte FW 2010 that might just land on Natalie. I cannot wait to feel fat and ugly in her presence.

Now I’ve seen Natalie in real life but I’ve never laid my eyes on Blake Lively and I hope that I’ve been blessed with good karma because if I get to see Blake’s perky tits this week, in real life, I will feel like I’ve seen the holy grail. Just a quick question, how come Blake’s boobs are always so separated? They never seem to be able to be pushed together to form a legit cleavage. I digress. Now, do I think Blake has great style? No, not at all. Do I think she has any input in what she wears? Fu*k No. But having said that, I enjoy that Blake is like a blank canvas. That way there are more opportunities to potentially rip on what she’s wearing or feel very jealous that her body is hers and not mine. Either way I will be satisfied. This will be Blake’s first time at TIFF and there is no question her tits will be out in full effect as will her long-ass legs. There will most definitely be either a massive slit in a dress or a short hemline that could rival even the most whoreiest of whores. So I’ve got a little comparison brewing here and you might not agree but come on the journey with me. If you know me, you would know that I’m really quite into Bai Ling. She is the wackiest bitch around. Now, Bai’s fashion choices are atrocious at best but I’m going to say it, right here right now, that her trash ass dressing is quite similar to that of our Blakey. Please see exhibit A, B and C. I rest my case.

And here’s Blake arriving in Toronto this afternoon. You don’t get to see many shots of her disheveled and I’m not into it. Granted, she still looks a hella lot better than when I’m traveling but the worked in kicks, the white tee and the unbrushed hair – it makes her feel a bit more human to me.

Now whenever anyone mentions Ryan Gosling’s name in the office, there is always a sigh, because he truly is a babe. And the boy’s been working out the last couple of years so his breaker high bod is a distant memory. Gosling looks good in a suit and always seems to opt for a slim fitting one (style note: men who have big thighs should never ever, I mean NEVER, wear a slim pant!! Please see any Jonas brother for what never to do). In 2007, Ryan hit the red carpet in a great looking, well fitting, three piece suit. He accessorized with a full on beard. The beard, not my favorite, but Gosling could be smothered in sh*t and I’d still not have that big of a problem with it. So yah, maybe I’m biased but I give Ryan props for his style choices. He always seems to add his own personal indie rock flare so needless to say I’m very excited to see what he’ll be looking like this year. Now, I’m a married woman which means my lady parts have been symbolically severed when it comes to jizzing over someone who is not my man, but I have to say, Ryan has some of the sexiest forearms I’ve ever seen, no? To fuel my bizarre fetish I’ve attached some of my favorite forearm shots of Gosling. Dear god, please let him wear roll-able sleeves this year. Do you think I’m a weirdo now?

Photos from Wenn.com and Flynetonline.com and Malcolm Taylor/Alberto E. Rodriguez/Andreas Rentz/Jason Merritt/Larry Busacca/Frazer Harrison/Gettyimages.com