My affection and sympathy to MK at DListed.com whose morning was ruined today because Tara Reid’s recent surgeries have rendered her halfway decent, sparing her from the kind of venomous but hilarious ridicule that is Michael’s trademark. As you can see, Tara’s improvement is remarkable and she proudly showed off her upgraded iteration last night at the Lloyd Klein opening in LA – she looks lovely, non? Unfortunately for Tara, “Lovely” for her has its limits, and while Tara in chocolate strapless might have a slight edge over the Mall Girl from earlier this week, the absolute cut off for a gal like Tara is the State Beauty Pageant – 2nd runner up. Not the one who gets to go in the event the real winner gets hit by a bus or takes a few porn shots, but the one who gets the shaft, who just misses the taste of glory, the moderately pretty girl who will go back home, marry the town pharmacist, have babies, just to put her daughter 10 years later in those creepy song and dance competitions where they all wear too much makeup and act like adults, attracting child perverts in the process. I’m not trying to mean or anything…I’m just sayin’… Tara Reid squandered what was. And now that she seems to have made a partial recovery, marriage might be the best option available, don’t you think? Source