Let’s kick this off with a little gloat. Not for me but for Friday Night Lights – the best show ever that you are not watching.

Here’s an email I received yesterday from a reader called JS:

I"ve been huffing my way quarter-heartedly through a TERRIBLE season of Grey"s Anatomy. Just so bad that whenever the episode is over, I"m sad that I could have spent that time doing my nails, scrubbing my toilet or anything else more interesting. And bitter. I get bitter.

I"m on a school from break and trudged halfway across the city to rent the 1st season of FNL. And, I am in another world. After each disk is over, I kinda have to pinch myself to come back into reality. It"s that well written and shot. The acting is great, but sometimes, I just want to strangle the actor who plays the perfect cheerleader for just trying too hard.

Overall extremely entertaining and here it comes. Here it comes. Wait....

You were right.

I wasn’t right. But the writers are just that good. Which is why I begged for this interview. Not only because Taylor Kitsch is unspeakably hot, but also because as a rabid fan of FNL, how could you pass up the opportunity?

Warning: am about to gush. And if you’ve been reading this long enough, I don’t gush about every celebrity I interview. See Joaquin Phoenix.

Having said that, TK is super gush worthy. But you’ll probably still Rossum… caution.

First things first – my interview with Taylor Kitsch airs on eTalk on January 4th. And because this was an eTalk official assignment, there are some things I won’t be able to tell you – like if he has a girlfriend. Or the answer to the question: Lindsay Lohan or Scarlett Johansson? Or how often he washes his hair. Needless to say, my producers want you to watch the show. At 7:05pm on January 4th however, I will post those answers here. And hopefully figure out how to YouTube from my tv.

Still…what you will read here is about how he smells. And about the fuzz on his navel. And whether or not he can construct a proper sentence. And if he’s aware of any beverages other than beer.

So. Yesterday. 3pm. The luxurious penthouse suite at the Met in Vancouver. It’s me and Sasha waiting for Taylor. Sasha, if you recall, is the producer who was crazy enough to walk away after Colin Farrell eyef*cked her. Shooting with Sasha yields many benefits. Of course she’s an amazing producer and a good friend but she’s also gorgeous. Like freak of nature gorgeous. But not intimidating. So it’s kinda like bait, you see? I’m married, she’s not, she’s hot, vicarious living…get it?

Oh and by the way, Taylor Kitsch is 26 which totally works with Gay Math. Gay Math, as my main ‘mo Darren once explained, is your age, divided in half, plus 7. If the object of your lust falls within that range… giddy’up. It’s game on. Love Gay Math.

Sorry… I digress. But before we start at the beginning, let’s quickly jump to the end. You know that scene from Love Actually? When Laura Linney finally gets Rodrigo Santoro back to her flat and they kiss and he’s going to spend the night and she tells him to give her a sec and she ducks around the corner with only a wall separating them and she does a silent squeal and dance with her eyes closed?

At the end of a blissful 60 minutes, Sasha and I put TK in his car and dashed around the corner out of his line of vision. Then we faced each other, clasping hands, and jumped up and down. This is why I love girls’ girls. This is why the company of girls for me is always preferable to the company of men. Girls are just more fun.

Ok so the interview.

We were waiting for him in the lobby. We were worried he’d be short. It’s a thing, you know? I’m Asian, Sash is half Asian, we just want what we don’t have. We like height. Yeah, we’re height-ist. So what what?

I was also worried about my questions. I was worried that, like Riggins, Taylor Kitsch’s communication skills would consist only of a series of grunts. Then his car pulled up and he got out. He opened his own door. Love. Without a publicist. Love. He shook the driver’s hand. Love. He was wearing an orange baseball cap from a movie he filmed this summer called Gospel Hill and a black tattered army jacket and black button down shirt with dark, very worn jeans and old black shoes. The jeans hung off his hips the way they SHOULD hang off a man’s narrow hips. And he was not short.

Not tall. Maybe 5 ft 11? But not short. A good start.

Hair was as it is on the show but he was wearing a 2 day scruff. No makeup, clean skin, perfect skin, The.Most.Incredible.Nose. And a mouth with a slight sexy overbite that would look so good speaking French.

He said he was happy to be home. He said that the first thing he did that morning was put on skates. We are Canadian, after all. But then I noticed the “Prada” label above his shirt pocket. The same shirt he’s seen wearing in the attached photos. So I teased him about it. Would Riggins wear a Prada shirt? He laughed sheepishlessly and said someone gave it to him.

But damn he looks good in Prada.

And yes he smells good. He smells … like nothing. Like him. No fuss. Love.

The voice is the same – it’s Tim Riggins’s voice. But it’s Taylor Kitsch’s vocabulary. Praise Xenu he is articulate! He can formulate a thought with words, with sophisticated words arranged grammatically correctly. Seems ludicrous to have to acknowledge this. But many actors are dumb. And still more are narcissists who only want to talk about what they want to talk about. Taylor answers the question he was asked. With detail and explanation. Love.

Without a doubt however the questions he most likes answering are about the show. He is extremely passionate about the characters, not just his character but all the characters. He talks about Dillon like it actually exists. Example: “In Dillon, we do this…and we do that. This is how it goes down in Dillon, you know?”

Yes Tim… I know.

And he is tight with his castmates. Conversation regularly sprinkled with anecdotes about “Chandler” and “Jess”. But this is what killed me – he shot a movie with Angela Bassett recently…and he refers to her simply as “Bassett”.

Yeah, it was great to learn from Bassett… just watching Bassett work, what a great experience.

Cute, non? Like all of a sudden, “Bassett” is a member of the offensive line. Love.

Interesting detail – FNL is, as you know, a unique production in the way they shoot and improvise. Writers craft the story but oftentimes the actor’s themselves will construct some of the dialogue. Almost half of what Tim Riggins says is what Taylor puts in his mouth.

Love.

As for what TK will be doing during the writer’s strike, he said they’ve shot up to episode 15 which should take us to mid/end February. And if you’re looking for a small spoiler – suffice to say, Julie’s horny teenage attentions will be diverted from her creepy teacher and onto someone closer to home.

Until a writer’s resolution is resolved, Taylor said he prefers to stay far from LA. Definitely NOT into the LA party scene, despite constant attempts from publicists to get him on every carpet every night. In fact, his attitude towards the Hollywood crowd bordered on pure disdain. He’s a healthy, West coast granola dude. Like seriously. Totally British Columbia Canadian. We talked about young stars getting wrapped up in the recreational drug use and the publicity machine. We talked about how mundane it is to use cocaine – how for them it’s like asking someone for a cigarette. And he was very clear, as evidenced by his presence in Vancouver, that when he doesn’t have to be, he won’t be in LA…though when he IS in LA, he’s always at the Kings game. Every game he can. Said he was good friends with Rob Blake. And if that’s the case, he needs to tell his good friend to work on his plus/minus. Rob is scraping the bottom of the barrel in the league. Just sayin’…

On the subject of partying – I brought up Hollywood Ebola Paris Hilton. “So you mean you don’t want to club hop with Paris Hilton?”

He practically sneered his response. That would be NO.

Love.

Oh and then we played WWRD. If you’re still reading this and you’re an FNL junkie, you don’t need me to explain.

WWRD?

- Ashlee or Jessica Simpson? (Jessica – she’s more Texas)
- Lean in for the first kiss on a first date? (not if it’s a Rally Girl)

Watch eTalk for more WWRD.

Eventually I ran out of questions. But TK has manners. He didn’t rush to leave, he wasn’t like … enough with you lot, get me the f*ck outta here. He actually stayed while Jay, our cameraman, took down the lighting, he stayed to chat with Sasha and me. Like casual chat. I wanted desperately to ask him about John Mayer peeing on Minka Kelly. Unfortunately, a rare moment of class came over my character. F&ck. Sorry.

Then we walked him down the hall, into the elevator, and into his car. We stopped on the steps of the hotel for a few minutes while it came ‘round. He was like… maybe I’ll see you at the game tomorrow. Handshake. Handshake. Awkward smile – like, we got to know each other but well enough to hug? Maybe I imagined that part.

And of course you know the rest. Like two prepubescent idiots we dashed around the corner and fanned ourselves.

One last detail – and he probably won’t like this especially after he explained to me his reaction when he receives a script from the FNL writers describing a scenes as follows:

Riggins. Shirtless. Hot.

Says he has to fight to keep his shirt on.

But why??? The Tim Riggins Shirtless drinking game totally rocks!

Taylor Kitsch says it’s gratuitous. Whatever.

And that’s why he won’t appreciate me telling you that Jay had to mic him and de-mic him after the interview. So he lifted up his arms and exposed some ab action. Perfect washboard and the hips and the fuzz and the belt and the jeans…

It was too much. Maybe he doesn’t like dogs.

Finally, about Sasha. Sasha is unavailable these days so she wasn’t giving off that vibe. Her moral superiority is seriously getting in the way of my fantasy life. I need new friends. Slutty ones.