You know I LOVE Taylor Kitsch. You know I want very badly for Taylor Kitsch to have a huge movie star career. Yes, because he’s hot, and of course, because he’s Riggins, but mostly because I’ve met him several times and he’s really, really nice. He deserves it. 


John Carter, it’s not for me. 

As I posted the other day, Taylor was making the talk show rounds - click here to see - and he was indeed promoting John Carter, specifically the first full length trailer which was released yesterday. Disney Marketing is taking advantage of your holiday eyeballs, hoping to build anticipation. 

Target audience? Well, if online reaction is any indication, it’s the fanboys. I just spent 15 minutes take the nerd temperature on the preview and, at least from where I was checking, it seems largely positive. They have a lot of faith in Andrew Stanton, the director. They’re really excited. Which... certainly isn’t what I’m feeling. 

The effects? Sure. But, and I don’t know if you’re like this too, I rarely get excited about good effects. I just notice when they’re really, really bad. John Carter’s effects are apparently impressing people. Does that mean the dialogue has to be SO BAD???

I’ve been asking myself why it’s bothering me so much, these horrible lines he has to deliver. And I just realised it’s because for 5 years, every line out of his mouth on one of the greatest tv shows ever, was brilliantly authentic and perfectly written/sometimes improvised. 

It’s like reading Zadie Smith. And then suffering through Stephenie Meyer. See? 

Also - gulp - I don’t think Taylor has a strong shout. These movies, these heroes, they have to be able to SHOUT. The rally cry has to give you goose bumps. Russell Crowe was very good at this in Gladiator. Taylor... 

Don’t be mad, but I think I may have heard his voice crack. 

Will I see John Carter? I’m not sure I can go there. Can I make up for it by seeing Savages 3 or 4 times?