I just asked Sasha if she thinks Taylor Lautner will ever have another look. You know, other than short hair, a black henley, a bomber, and skinny jeans with combatty boots. Her answer: maybe he can try a necklace one day? It’s a big risk.

Like, can you picture him any other way? Other than the way he is today in Australia promoting Abduction? This is just one of the reasons he is Tom Cruise Jr. Unless there’s another dimension that we haven’t been introduced to yet. Which... um... I’m not even sure he knows about his other dimensions yet. Or if he’ll ever be allowed to.

As for Abduction - when I first saw the trailer which actually wasn’t until last week, my initial thought was that goddamn this kid cannot act. Check the line “Not if I find you first”. It’s pain. But he’s playing a teen, right? He’s playing some kind of adolescent Bieber Bourne? And wouldn’t any adolescent Bieber Bourne, if one has to exist, be sort of awkward and unnatural? To be believable? Look, I’m trying here. To be kind to the manufactured machine child they’re marketing to us as the next Tom Cruise. I wonder though if my theory might be flawed because that would imply that he has an awareness of himself. And the beauty of both Tom Cruise and Tom Cruise Jr is that they actually have no idea. Is the earnestness endearing?

Photos from Splashnewsonline.com