Written by Sarah

The Twilight cast hits up Oprah tomorrow in advance of Eclipse’s release next month. All week the Oprah Show has been releasing clips of Rob Pattinson, Kristen Stewart, and Taylor Lautner on the show. People.com ran this clip of Taylor Lautner answering the question, “What do you want in a lady?” He says he wants someone who is loyal, honest, who can relax and have fun. So he wants a devoted companion who won’t hide her feelings and that he can play with. Taylor Lautner wants…

A dog.

Why are we obsessed with getting Taylor Lautner a girlfriend? He doesn’t need to go out with Taylor Swift, he needs to go to the pound and rescue a puppy. My cousin has a border collie called Maggie who can do tricks. Taylor should get a border collie and train it catch Frisbees. And maybe while he’s out playing in the park with his new dog, he can make some friends. Because what Oprah really should have asked Taylor was, “Son, why don’t you have any friends?” And then maybe he could explain a life in which an eighteen year old kid doesn’t seem to know anyone his own age.

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