Taylor Swift is always good for it.

It was just a year ago that Swift and Harry Styles were making Burberry hearts at duck ponds and in the English countryside. Last night they were both winning awards and ignoring each other, as that Kardashian he may or may not be f-cking sat one row behind him. Taylor didn’t have Selena Gomez to hold hands and giggle with. So she threw her stats in his face instead while slow-walking every time she took the stage.

“You bought 6 million copies of my album?!?”

And don’t tell me this dress was an accident:

A star as big as Taylor Swift has options. And every option for every dress comes with a catalogue. Has it been worn before? When? By whom? Where?

Do you honestly think she wouldn’t have known? And that there wasn’t some calculation to it? A calculation only she understands?

By the way, I LOVE the 80s hair.

I do not love that Harry is auditioning to be a Kardashian. Especially when he continues to be so f-cking cute. Harry Styles makes me feel desperate and sad. When he’s stomping around in his tight little pants, the cramps in my stomach make it hard for me to breathe. And I’m not even embarrassed for myself. Maybe he’s trying to cure me of my affliction. Maybe he’s trying to pass me off to Louis Tomlinson and his eyeliner. It’s just… Louis isn’t the strongest singer, is he? Oh My God, what have I done?