Vulture asked a very important question on Twitter last night:

Who has more friends, Taylor or Gwyneth?

It’s been a year now, right? Since I first started calling Taylor Swift the “Friend Collector”? She’s also, like, the official mascot of music award shows now too. You can always count on Taylor Swift in the front row, dancing like she just don’t care, with every lyric to every song memorised, making it impossible for the camera not to find her.


Is that what it’s all about? This, hilariously, is how the internet noticed Pharrell noticing:

Curiously though, the camera did NOT find Taylor when her good friend Ed Sheeran was up on stage performing with John Mayer. During Sheeran’s second number, however, after Mayer was excused, conveniently it was OK to shoot Taylor singing and bopping around again.

Coincidence or conspiracy?

That was a direct order, non?

Also no shots of Taylor during Katy Perry’s performance. She’s friends with almost everyone… just not them. Even Kanye. And Madonna. There’s Taylor taking pictures with everyone, all her friends. Including the big winner of the night, Sam Smith. She was all over Sam Smith. She presented twice, opening the show and then later introducing his performance just to show you how close they are. No one else presented twice. But, you know, if Taylor’s not going to perform, she’ll still manage to take over the entire show, somehow.

Remind you of anyone?

Oh, hi Julia Roberts. Like Julia Roberts, Taylor is never just a presenter. When Julia presents, the moment is always about Julia. It’s her moment to tell you what she thinks of Lupita Nyong’o. Or her friend Mark Ruffalo. Give Julia a microphone and it’s licence for Julia to take over. There was a little of that in Taylor Swift last night, non? Not quite as intense, because she’s young, obviously. But give it time. She’ll get there. The Force is strong in this one.

PS. Of course it was Elie Saab. And of course I hated it. We get it. You love wearing shorts. So wear shorts! And that hair. And that colour. You know where “jewel tones” belong? On jewels. Not on dresses.