An armed guard service met Team England at the airport today in South Africa as the squad has now arrived in advance of the World Cup beginning June 11th. If you’ve been reading my blog for a while, you probably know I’m an anglophile. So this is partly why I’ll be following the English side, yes. But it’s also because of their WAGs. English WAGs seem low classier than most. And they get so much play.

Which is why World Cup soccer, really, is the most complete sporting event on the planet. Because in addition to athletic appreciation, and teamwork, and international appeal, there’s also the entertainment side. These bitches run a f-cking sideshow of their own in the stands. Then you throw Victoria Beckham into the mix, with a new Birkin every single day, and it’s two games you have to keep track of: one on the pitch and the other in the private box.

Here, read this - click for the link - all the way through and it’s just a taste of the amazingness. I like the one who used to be a nail technician. Please. You can’t make this sh-t up.

But they do look so cute in their little uniforms, non? Wayne Rooney is killing me with his pillow. As for David Beckham, this makes me very sad. Cruel twist. He’s there though, to support, just wanting to be close. He needs a hug.

Photos from and Simon Hammond/