Apple Martin wore pink ones. But how could there be any other colour but blue for the Blue Ivy Carter? The Blue Ivy Carter was carried by her father in New York today. He was protecting her ears for a helicopter ride. Hamptons? The Carters have been spending a lot of time there this summer, renting a home for a reported $400K a month. And everyone was all judgy about this like that’s a lot of money.

You know, Beyonce’s minimum to play at private birthday parties is a million dollars, right? For, like, 2 hours of work, probably less. I’m just saying, 30 days of rent, for less than 60 minutes of work, in their world, is almost a bargain. And besides, of course they had to be in the Hamptons. The Paltrow-Martins are there. And supposedly they’re over at each others’ all the time. I would clean their pool for free for a chance to see that go down up close. I mean, is Gwyneth flipping veggie burgers on the grill while B breastfeeds under a patio umbrella? God, what does it look like???