I read the book like everyone else who reads books on lists. I thought it was … OK. It certainly didn’t change my life or anything. Found the ending rather underwhelming. And, well, I have some serious fundamental issues with it that, um, are probably best left to another discussion. So I guess I’m not as excited about the movie as others may be.

Having said that, I’m a big fan of Emma Stone. I want her to be in good movies. And then came the trailer for The Help. Which… was I reading the wrong book?

Why didn’t anyone tell me this was a Julia Roberts/Nora Ephron storyline?

I mean, isn’t that what this 2 minute clip is trying to say.

On second thought, maybe what it’s trying to say is “let me insult you as much as possible”. Done.

This is the kind of trailer that talks down to people. And I suppose it’s also the kind of trailer made for people who need to be talked down to. The kind of people who are afraid to go to the movies if they can’t enjoy the lipstick and the pretty dresses for two hours.

“Oh look, we deal with heavy subject matter, and we have to bring up that boring old racism issue again, but don’t worry, because we’ll make it funny too and we’ll throw in a LOT of stereotypes and you’ll really love some of the outfits so you don’t have to feel too uncomfortable. It’ll be such a FABULOUS time!”



If your objective is to tell a story realistically about what it was like back then in the South, maybe you should cast that sh-t properly, non?

Since when was Hilly a slender woman? Since when was Hilly more Jacqueline Kennedy than Dolores Umbridge? It’s on goddamn Page 5 per Aibileen:

“Miss Hilly got a round face and dark brown hair in the beehive. Her skin be olive colour with freckles and moles. She wear a lot of red plaid. And she be getting heavy in the bottom. Today, since it’s so hot, she wearing a red sleeveless dress with no waist to it. She one a those grown ladies that still dress like a little girl with big bows and matching hats and such. She ain’t my favourite.”

You take a look at the movie version of Hilly played by Bryce Dallas Howard. Does that look “heavy in the bottom” to you???????????????????

Of course not.

Somehow they always have to Hollywood-ise this sh-t.

This must be why they had to caption out every character’s name. Like movies for dum-dums. (Tina Fey reference of the day accomplished.)

Even Celia, who jammed her big tits into all her clothes, in my mind like a young Dolly Parton/Jessica Simpson look alike, somehow has the svelte physique of a model. All the white girls, in fact, have the physique of models. All the white girls have the physiques of all the girls today. Which is fine, I guess, except the story actually takes place in 1962. When body types were different.

Do we not want to see white girls with curves these days?

Details like, you know, authenticity are obviously not important. This after all is marketed towards the people who have no problem with those Sex & the City movies. Woo! Let’s see this on our Girls’ Night Out after we get our nails gelled up and throw back a few cosmos!

Attached – the ladies of The Help at CinemaCon in Vegas a couple of weeks ago.

Photos from Ethan Miller/Gettyimages.com