The Third Person
What’s the measure of a truly obnoxious diva? The demands, yes. The attitude, of course. The sense of entitlement, absolutely. But don’t forget a whole new way of speaking to go with a whole new level of success. Girlfriend has taken to talking about herself in the third person. Now think about how cloying this would be and imagine you were present during this recent, seemingly harmless discussion she had with her assistant. Let’s call her Judy, after my mother, shall we? Judy: When is Judy’s call time tomorrow? Staff: we’re gonna get you there for 7am. Judy: 7am is too early for Judy. Judy’s going out late at that thing tonight? Can’t you move it for Judy? : Staff: it’s a half day shoot and they could only get the permit until 2. Did you want me to see if I get you out of the meeting tonight? Judy: No way, everyone’s gotta see Judy tonight! And it keeps going and going and going. But don’t doubt for a second that she doesn’t know exactly what she’s doing. Because as much as the third person comes out to rule in private, the words “I” and “me” miraculously re-enter her lexicon as soon as it’s time to sell. Lifelong training and preparation has paid off…and like any true diva, this girl is a total pro.