The Vampire Diaries Season 4 Episode 19 recap

Sorry, okay, but of all the things that this show does well, that delight me, I am least interested in the ongoing trials of our seniors in high school. Seriously, as though any of them were ever going to graduate anyway at this point?

But on a serious note, it bothers me because, as we saw tonight, we’ve finally crossed the threshold where the “petty, teenage” concerns are just irrelevant,  seeing as saving the life of a given human is just all in a night’s work for Matt, the most “average” of them all. As such, I was bored bored bored by my girl Caroline, and I really believe she can do no wrong generally. But the emphasis on prom has been done better elsewhere – including on other apocalyptic shows all “but this is all we have”. I felt no urgency and no nostalgia. Looking at the pictures of the “younger” kids didn’t do anything for me, nor for Elena. They’re gone from this place already.   They don’t pretend to turn up on time. Why pretend the prom matters?

Also – and let me just get this off my chest before I go further – why pretend April matters? I sincerely hope she’s not going to be some sort of Dawn Summers-type Key, because she’s exhausting and irritating and unfortunately over 19 episodes, her “gosh-I’m-horrified-and-surprised” face hasn’t gotten any better.

Maybe, though, they’ll find a way to work around her, as with Kat Graham, who at least had a clear something to do here. Mourn Jeremy,  get attacked by Silas more than once, threaten to kill Elena (oh, and didn’t you love how they were all “Get off her, Bonnie!” – was not Elena chomping on her throat seconds before?),  and then decide that somehow Silas is worth helping? Or something? I don’t know, but at least she’s operating on her own, which is how I like Bonnie best, and has a clear mission. Oh, and she gains bonus points for being the only one who’s not actively clamoring for the cure.

I almost expect them to have a “run for the cure” next week, no puns or jokes intended. Because this is endless. Rebecca wants – and has wanted it so singularly for so long that I’m already sad it eluded her clutches. She really has a case for why humanity might be the thing for her at this point, whether or not either of her fundamentally selfish brothers will let her have it. I did find the originals the easiest to take in this episode, even though the brothers, in particular, seem to be just waiting around for the spinoff to begin. They remain fun, even if their pursuits of Silas-who-could-be-anyone are, you know, lackadaisical. As an aside…can you credit the amount of horse whinny that Elijah puts behind “whims”? I actually found the originals the easiest to take, this episode, overall.

Because the alternative is the brunette trio of exhaustion. Elena is evil and loves it but kind of hates it. Stefan and Damon are as vulnerable to the idea that the other might get her as they ever were. Whether she turns on her humanity (which I’ve noticed is starting to take over as the prevailing idea, rather than taking the cure) or not, she’s still going to be in the middle. I don’t love the simile that human Elena loves Stefan and vampire Damon loves Elena and oh look, the median is going to fuel all of season 5… that, and Matt trying to figure out why people like him so gosh-darn much, and Bonnie trying to figure out if all these people who are supposed to be her friends have given her a thought in the last five years.

To close, two final thoughts: “The shell of my best friend almost killed me” would have been a great line if the actress had actually enunciated  - and also, a hearty God Bless You,  Vampire Diaries, because you are mythic and epic and dramatic, but having Elena steal Caroline’s prom dress was nothing if not an homage to Kelly & Brenda’s spring dance, the best prom episode ever written.

Three to go, yo!