It’s officially an epidemic – celebrities walking around intoxicated by their own ridiculous sense of entitlement, unleashing a steady stream of bad behaviour for which my Chinese squawking chicken mother would have me flogged if I ever dared to emulate.

For some people however fame excuses the need for good manners. For this girl who is NOT the “no looking” one from last week, fame excuses the need to be appreciative and grateful and shameful.

So she’s promoting a new project, is making the rounds. Gets picked up in a very very high end luxury car. Like super luxury. It pulls up to pick her up and she refuses to get in because “she doesn’t like the colour”. It’s too bright. She doesn’t “do that colour”.

After half an hour she’s finally coaxed inside. Then she throws another fit because there are 5 water bottles inside the car. Odd numbers. She doesn’t like odd numbers. She specifically requested even numbers. Near meltdown ensues.

Next stop – her dressing room on a show where she’s scheduled to perform. Her people apparently requested “skinny mirrors’. Skinny mirrors were not ordered. Regular mirrors were ordered. She takes one look at herself and threatens to walk. She is placated by the promise of a one week resort stay in the Caribbean. And I haven’t even bothered to share the details of her catering complaints: not enough sashimi, not enough champagne, sandwiches were too soggy, and on and on and on.

Someone needs to invent The Slapper. The Slapper needs to slap this bitch hard.

Let me save you some work: not Mimi, Whitney, Janet, Madonna, or Lopez