I did something very out of character for me yesterday. Before the show, before all the panic and craziness, I went for a hike. In LA, where people hike. This is not something I undertake all the time. In fact, people who know me and are reading this just spit out whatever beverage they were working on.  

So I was a little nervous about whether I would be immediately obvious as a novice, so I did what I always do in nervous situations these days. I chose the appropriate chapter from my audiobook of "Bossypants" and listened to Tina tell the tale of climbing "Old Rag Mountain" in the middle of the night.  

This is why I was so tickled by Tim Gunn quoting parts of the book back to Tina.  The parts about her terrible fashion sense, of course, but I'm so in love with the idea of him reading it - he seems like the type who would dive through the whole thing instead of just skimming the parts the producers told him to.  She was equally delighted with him, and this is what's fun for me about Tina at these things: she has learned to relax and she's hilarious because of it.  Lainey particularly liked the moment where she bowed to the ashes of Kim Jong Il.

However.  

Everyone told the story last night. There must have been a press release.  

“Carolina Herrera chose only one person to dress (at the Oscars) and it was Tina Fey.”

...in that?  

What is Fey, Zellweger now all of a sudden?

Sorry. SORRY!  Even Lainey looked at me askance when I said this, because our Tina is unimpeachable but - that thing is so damn Boredom. I don't care if it fits well if I can't actually see her body underneath because it's hidden under peplum and breast swaths and whatnot. And...we couldn't have dialed the colour up one more notch to a nice, rich “university blue”?  Why was she languishing in that midnight stew?  If in fact the colour was different than it appeared, then we must invoke what will now be known as the Michelle Williams rule - test it on camera beforehand. Please.  

I love having Tina Fey at stuff. Any stuff. I'm mentally creating a fantasy wardrobe for when she hosts next year, which is also a fantasy, and breaks the record for most clothing changes by a host, one done onstage (see earlier qualifiers).

Her earrings were pretty.