Part 1 happened in November, just after Solange Knowles performed on Saturday Night Live and her ma, Miss Tina, posted and then deleted a photo of Solange, her son Jules, and Jay Z in an elevator. The “Oh My God, mom!” was how I imagined Beyoncé and Solange might have reacted to their mother’s brain fart, like how we might all “Oh My God, mom!” our mothers for their various embarrassments, perceived, legitimate, or otherwise. And this week it happened again.
There was an Instagram post the other day about Beyoncé and Jennifer Hudson from Dreamgirls, basically dragging back all those rumours that Beyoncé was pissed because she thought that movie would be about her and Jennifer was the one who ended up with the Oscar. And Miss Tina liked the post. Which suggests of course that she agrees that Jennifer Hudson was overrated and that Beyoncé was underappreciated. And nobody, especially not Beyoncé’s ma, gets away with that sh-t on social media. It’s a f-cking mystery to me how that works but somehow someone always notices.
Oh My God, mom!
In response, Tina has decided to take a break from social media. Here’s her explanation – basically she liked a post without understanding what the post was really about (Rihanna claims she did this recently too) and she’s all about love and positivity and, most hilariously, at least to me, that:
“My children worried that I might accidentally touch something when looking at other sites and have warned me about it.”
So, basically, “Oh My God, mom!” is not wrong. Even Beyoncé, wrapped in silence and mystery, who keeps her distance but quite obviously still knows everything and every thought we have about her, has to manage her mother and technology. Just like us! Here’s what that looks like in my life, with my dad. My dad is still forwarding joke emails. Most people stopped doing this 15 years ago, maybe more. My dad still thinks it’s new. And, worse, because he’s a joke forwarder, and opens every f-cking email and clicks on every goddamn link, my dad is a virus sharer. Nobody opens emails from my dad anymore because he keeps trying to give our computers ebola.
Miss Tina, clearly, is much more advanced than my dad. My dad would not know how to f-ck with Instagram. But while my dad is sharing viruses, Miss Tina is sharing shade. And for someone like Beyoncé, whose image is so tightly controlled, is the shade sharing almost worse?