Miss a marquee match? Never.

Miss a major photo opportunity? Madness.

A hot pink belt just in case we miss her? Always.

Of course Victoria turned up to support her husband yesterday. And of course she brought along two very high profile guests – none other than the GMD and his RoboBride: he intently watching footballers with large muscular thighs running up and down the pitch, she wistfully remembering what could have been. Check out Tom and his KatE, ubiquitous Intensity Face screwed on tightly, never losing focus for a moment, which is probably why he has apparently achieved the highest Scientological ranking possible, and is now eligible to perform Church marriages…supposedly soon to be presiding over the wedding of Australian billionaire James Packer this weekend.

While in Europe, Tom and Katie also dropped in to Scientology headquarters in Berlin. The GMD has committed to the title role in a new project shooting in Germany this summer about a failed Hilter assassination attempt. Word is relatives of Count Claus Schenk von Stauffenberg, the unsuccessful assassin, have their knickers in a twist about the possibility that Cruise will “inject” some Xenu into the biopic.

Still…let not a looming Thetan spoil the celebration. The Beckhams and the Cruises spent a long night on the town following Real Madrid’s victory, first heading out for dinner and then clubbing – CLUBBING!!! – until 7am.

David in a suit is enough to make me lose my mind. And as always, am all over the possessive way he holds his wife’s hand… always perfect, always practiced, always porn.

The other two by contrast are an exercise in awkward. Remember Tom "presenting" Katie at the Vanity Fair party after the Oscars? Same deal here. And then there’s the kiss. A kiss during the match. Passion isn’t exactly the word, is it?

Her legs though – Katie’s legs?

As Tom would say…