Tom & Katie in Australia
Split? I don’t think so. Like I said yesterday there will be no split unless the Church of Tom allows it. And I think we can all agree that now is not the time. Fresh off the Life & Style report that had them separated undercover, the Crazies showed up in Australia today in a very public show of affection and togetherness. In the immortal words of Will Ferrell doing George Bush - is this all about strategery? You bet. But it’s just another sign that our hopes of their love termination have not been realized. On a related note, I’ve received many queries from you about this mysterious Morton book destined to rip the lid off of Scientology and the Cruise gayness. And since I’m not in the business of putting my Chinese ass out there to get raped by the Tommy legal team and sodomised by Church henchmen, I’d prefer to say as little as possible about what Andy might be brewing. However, since I know it’s my duty to deliver the smut, I will tell you that word along exclusive gossip wires is that Mr Morton might have damaging evidence about swimming functionality along with explosive insider knowledge about just how deep-rooted and frighteningly powerful the Church really is. Which is why I think Scientology is so amazing and enlightening and f*cking awesome!!! Anyway, save up your forty bucks y’all. The Morton hardcover should be out by the end of the year.