Conspiracy theorists, myself included - we all lost our sh*t late last week when X17managed to score themselves a few aerial shots of Katie by the window with a baby presumably nestled behind her. Praise Thetan, ah-Xenu…is this Little Sci? If you really look closely, you can make out a diaper, a body, and a very, very large head which, naturally, has done nothing to assuage the fake infant claims, now that everyone is hollering that it"s probably just a plastic doll. Sigh. I sound like a broken record, I know, but I think there"s a child. I think she birthed one, GENETIC origin still to be determined, and yes, we can argue about it til we"re Cruise in the face. So let"s focus instead on the disturbing air about these photos, shall we? The way in which Katie, standing forlornly by the window, looks like a prisoner trapped inside her own home, a real life horror movie unfolding before us. I"ve received many of your comments, about how creepy the scene is, asking why she wouldn"t draw the curtains, wondering why she"d just be standing there, gazing out onto an empty lawn, not a soul in sight, begging to be rescued. Well, um…not to say that I don"t love the alien kidnap angle but couldn’t the grainy, spooky atmosphere simply be a result of taking photos from a helicopter? And her presence by the window - helicopters make noise, don"t they? A lot of noise. Would it be unreasonable to assume that she moseyed on over to the window to take a look? Nah… I"m with you. Gossipmongering is way more fun. Especially since it"s such a great story, a bone chilling, spine tingling story, one not outside the realm of possibility or belief considering the practices of the Church and the reportedly sinister behaviours of its followers. And by all means, if this is how you choose to interpret the images... giv"er. I can"t argue that the poor girl certainly seems lobotomised or hypotised or roboticised or all of the above, and I too pity the way in which that big giant gay has sucked the hope and the future and the rosy apples off of her cheeks, out of her life but most importantly, away from her career. Unfortunately for the family Holmes, things don"t look like they"re changing any time soon. By the way - has anyone bothered to ask Life & Style Weekly when EXACTLY the GMD will be releasing Katie from her services? After all, that break up story from way back in February is getting kinda old, don"t you think? Sorry, I digress. But you would be amazed at how many people read that bottom feeding rag and call it the gospel. Anyway, back to the state of the union, or the upcoming union, and when it"s going down. Because we"ve been hearing f0r months that August was supposed to be the official signing and since there are only 2 weekends left in the month, pappies and gossips the world over are getting antsy about a wedding. Los Angeles smuthounds say that if it happens before the end of the summer, it will not be a large scale affair. Leaks would have inevitably busted open by now, given the couple"s notoriety and the amount of money at stake for exclusive tips and photos. So if it does happen, word is it will likely be small and destination. Still others are speculating that the GMD will push back til the Fall, when he can leverage maximum exposure along with the rumoured Vanity Fair baby shots and avoid the end of summer gossip lag, when - shocker! - people are too busy on vacay to care about smut. There - take that for what it"s worth. Promise I"ll keep you posted. PS. Have you ever heard of anyone RESCUING more people than Tom Cruise??? How can heroism be so prolific?