This has made my life. And it will make yours. Or at the very least, it will make your Friday. Promise.

So Gawker has posted a new video from deep within the Vault of Xenu of a birthday party a few years ago planned by David Miscavige for the Church’s golden boy Tom Cruise.

First… note the tightness of Brother David’s shirt. Ok gay.

Next… the party was hosted on some kind of Church cruise ship. Which sort of explains the cheesy ass band and the lights and even the vibe but then of course, because this is Tom Cruise, of course he takes it 10 steps higher, 100 steps even, actually no… he makes it 1000 times more amazing and marvelous and awesome and f&cking incredible than it should be. Cheese on speed! 

Watch and die inside as they fete him with the theme songs to all his music. Cover your mouth in embarrassment as he fist pumps for the “hard rock”. Marvel at the fact that Mr Miscavige is even littler than he is. Widen your eyes in shock as he dances. Again. And sings. He sings proudly. And everyone is jumping around like they’re on crack worshiping their God. 

Click here to to view.

This is Katie’s life.