As I mentioned several weeks ago, due to the success of Valkyrie, Tom Cruise’s meeting schedule suddenly stacked up quickly…

And now, it’s paid off. He is fully, and officially, restored. 

But many skeptics didn’t think it was possible. Not impossible. In fact, it’s actually accomplished.

Just in – Tom Cruise is in final talks to star opposite Denzel Washington in The Matarese Circle playing a Russian spy going head to head against his American counterpart.

Tom and Denzel. Together. 

Yeah, even I would go see that. Besides, Tom trying to work a Russian accent will be hilarious.

But back to the original point: 

Hollywood has changed. It was a different world back in the day when Tom Cruise was crowned the Biggest Movie Star In The World. And it seemed like his stumbles were both a result of his church crazy (CRAZY!) and the realisation that his town had been taken over by reality idiots and A list famewhores who were changing the game. 

Suddenly he had fallen behind. Suddenly he looked like a rookie pitcher, walking the bases loaded, and giving up a grand slam. 

It’s taken 3 years but Tom seems to have adapted to the evolving environment. Relearned the sport. Perhaps unwillingly at first, and forced to professionally, but he adapted nonetheless, working the press circuit hardcore, courting the right allies, keeping the poolboy at bay, and leveraging his wife and daughter as collateral. 

Well played.

He’s a ways to go before he reaches the mastery of the Brange but still, it means Tom Cruise is still relevant. And we can still rag on his androgynous ass. And I’d much prefer that than one more day with the girls of The Hills. 

He might have some f-cked up belief and his religion brings the chills but no one can deny – Tom Cruise is a true celebrity. True celebrities are the centre of our smutty universe.

Thanks Sabrina! 


File photos from