It’s their anniversary today and to celebrate the occasion both Us Weekly and Star Magazine feature the couple on their covers, both publications taking it balls to the wall with suggestions that theirs is a contract marriage fraught with drama. 

Us reports that there are four more years left of Katie’s sentence. According to US, Tom controls her, tells her what to eat, when to work out, and gives her an allowance, some of which she’s using to finance The Romantics

Star on the other hand claims that Katie’s mulling over a $15 million tell-all threatening to expose his f-ckery including his addiction to junk food, his obsession about his appearance, and the existence of some creepy Scientology van that drives around emitting Xenu rays. Chills, chills, chills. 

Actually…is anyone even afraid of the chills anymore? People in Europe are hating on the Church all the time. Now two tabloids are going after the litigious Cruise seemingly unafraid of repercussions that had previously been a deterrent. Something has shifted. Not only has he weakened, but it’s almost as if his decline has emboldened them to inch ever closer to that revealing line. My smutty sense is tingling. What’s up? 

Attached – a collection of old Tom/Robo love shots, back in the day when they kept pouring it on. I particularly like the one of them at TRL and the disgusting PDA while surrounded by screaming fans. 

Photos from