I’ll never choose not to use a sports analogy if it’s available. So if the Tom Cruise/Katie Holmes divorce situation can be compared to a boxing match, and we expect it to go 12 rounds, let’s say that Katie, obviously, won the first round easily, almost knocking him out, and continued to pummel him the second round, but the third...

If we’re half way through the third round right now, well I wouldn’t call it for anyone quite yet, but I will say that Tom’s holding his own. As mentioned earlier, legal teams for both sides were negotiating through the weekend. In response, Katie’s team pulled back on the leaking and Tom’s team went out harder with the “poor me” play. Now the two have released a joint statement:

“We are committed to working together as parents to accomplish what is in our daughter Suri's best interests. We want to keep matters affecting our family private and express our respect for each other's commitment to each of our respective beliefs and support each other's roles as parents.”

EXPRESS OUR RESPECT FOR EACH OTHER’S COMMITMENT TO EACH OF OUR RESPECTIVE BELIEFS?

That is exactly about what you think it’s about. That is a small victory for the Church of Scientology. That is about Tom telling Katie - I’ll give on a few things, but not unless you give on this. You best start toning down this sh-t attack on my Church because otherwise, I will spend the money and I will fight you on this and it will be ugly and even if you end up with sole custody of Suri in the end, you will be so ravaged by the battle, you might not even be able to raise her.

Fine. It’s a small victory. But don’t think she didn’t expect it either. She was aggressive out of the gate for a reason. The fact that Tom is even negotiating with her, and not bullying her, is remarkable in and of itself. She wanted to put him in a position where he had to acknowledge her demands. And she succeeded. Tom Cruise is bargaining. For Tom Cruise, bargaining is new territory. And Katie Holmes put him there. It looks like they were able to compromise on the first issue with this statement: the role of Scientology in the breakdown of this marriage. If you’re Katie then, when you’re considering what to concede, it comes down to the ultimate objective. Katie’s ultimate objective seems to be sole custody, or majority custody, if that exists, of Suri. Being a threat to Xenu then has been her bargaining chip. She threw it on the table. Her taking it off the table could very well mean that it’s his turn to concede something of his own.

But she’s The One, Skywalker, Neo, and Harry Potter! She can’t give up now! You know what’s interesting though? What if the people trying to take down Scientology need Katie to attack Scientology as much as Scientology needs her to stop? This is why theirs is such an incredible, captivating story. The narratives are endless. And no one but Suri is totally innocent.