It’s only Monday morning but these are easily, easily the best photos of the week, maybe even of my whole life. 

Tom Cruise celebrated his 49th birthday yesterday in Miami wearing his favourite hat. He was joined by wife Katie, who threw him a surprise party, and two of his three children, Little Sci Suri, and son Connor who, as I’ve noted before, bears resemblance to his father, and yes know-it-alls, I am aware that he is adopted (!!!) but can a bitch say there’s a resemblance without suggesting they’re biologically connected? Fack!

Anyway, Connor decided to go for a swim. Apparently this is a topless beach. And some broad was taking full advantage, while straight up right up in his face, and, um...adjusting herself? 

Check how Connor is trying to look away. I think at some point his friend steps in to rescue him. From breasts? Connor is 16. At that age, Jacek would have pretty much parked it right there. It’s free breasts! 

What advice to you suppose his father would have had for him in these situations? When confronted with free form tits, do you give in and ogle, or do you disengage? Dad would definitely disengage. 

Photos from