A publicity still from Rock of Ages has been released featuring Tom Cruise in full costume with tats and a windblower as Stacee Jaxx. Go ahead. Enjoy it for a few. I’ll wait. 

Like, amazing right? 

I mean...

He is trying SO hard. And now I totally want to see this. So badly. Remember Pierce Brosnan in Mamma Mia? How it became the best thing ever whenever he started singing. I want that to happen with Tom. Except with Tom, the way he seems to be delivering this performance, what we’ll get is one part Top Gun, one part Danny Zuko, and the rest Liberace. OMG. I can’t wait. 

Tom, as you know, has been working hard on the film in Miami where he was joined this Father’s Day weekend by Katie Holmes and Little Sci. They went for a family boat ride. He was wearing his jaunty hat. You never see him without that hat anymore. I can deal with the hat, I guess, but I cannot deal with his legs and those socks, with the trainers, and the shorts....

Strap on a fanny pack and we’re all set to go, right? 

And it’s dumb too. Really, really dumb. Because why send out a goddamn photo in the hopes of selling yourself as some kind of rock god on stage only to show up two days later in an outfit that was meant to be seen in the parking lot of a Walmart? I don’t get it. 

Anyway, Katie also spent time with Suri at the beach and showed off a seriously toned body that could throw down with Gwyneth Paltrow’s. I don’t mean to be a bitch about this but remember when you all were CONVINCED she was pregnant after these photos because her dress wasn’t suctioned to her body? This is why I think BumpWatch is so dumb.

Photos from Bauergriffinonline.com