Katie Holmes told People.com that “My husband has red roses for me everywhere I go and whenever we travel.”

Jacek, we have been married almost 9 years. Thank you for the half granola bar you grudgingly shared with me this morning. And I don’t want a putter for my birthday. And I’m sure Microsoft Office 2010 is really great and efficient, but I don’t want that for Christmas either.

Having said that, maybe your greatest gift to me is that I don’t have to come home to red roses every day. Because then I would have to f-cking cut that sh-t every other day and change the water. And you know I can’t be bothered. I know you’re into the fact that I don’t complain that you don’t caress my face with tenderness and love … ever. And I’m quite happy that sometimes the most romantic thing we can do for each other is to not speak for an hour in our own corners.

Jacek, you could never make Katie Holmes happy. And I could never let Xenu kill my bitch.

As you were.

Love,

Lainey

PS. Here are Katie and Tom’s shoe lifts at the NY premiere of The Romantics last night.

PPS. She also gushed to People.com that "Being a mother is so dreamy" which is probably also how her husband describes Zac Efron.


Photos from Wenn.com and Splashnewsonline.com