I don’t think we can talk about this until you’ve seen it. So here, please watch. The new Rock of Ages trailer. I’ll wait for you on the other side.

If you’re looking for someone to snark on it, you’ll have to click away. I can’t snark on it. Because I LOVE IT. I love it without irony. I love it with a smile on my face the entire time. I love it so much I’ve watched it 4 times and will probably go for another 4 by the end of the day. I love the era, I love the music, I LOVE TOM CRUISE.

How great is Alec Baldwin’s shirt?

How great is Catherine Zeta-Jones’s Michelle Bachmann imitation?

How F-CKING GREAT is Tom Cruise under that hat and that fur coat? COME ON.

When they go into We’re Not Gonna Take It and We Built This City... I get GOOSEBUMPS, that’s how much I love it.

You know why?

Because for the last few years and now - see The Descendants - there are so few examples of Going Big. Restraint is the preferred currency in Hollywood. So when BIG comes along, with people who can DO Big, like Zeta, and Giamatti, and Baldwin, and goddamn it, Cruise, it’s hard not to get swept along.

Big. Is. FUN.

Big is FUNNY.

Big is a good time and I forgot that Tom Cruise is crazy.

And for Tom Cruise? It’s more proof - he’s at his most likeable in the 80s. It’s maybe the only era that works for him anymore.

I can’t wait to see this movie. So much I’ll do it on the first weekend. And I never, EVER thought I would say that straight up, no joke.