Every woman’s gay lover Tom Ford in Beverly Hills yesterday quivering my loins with his amazing amazingness.

Sigh.

It hurts so badly that I repulse him. That he’d rather shop at Walmart than have sex with me.

Actually…

Maybe not. After all, it is Tom Ford. And the best thing about Tom Ford, aside from what he looks like and how he wears it and how he owns it and how f*cking goddamn fine he is, is that he is a bitch. He is a total bitch prick. A mean motherf*cker who will not hesitate to tell you that you are not worth his time. That you are nothing in his presence.

It’s amazing.

A journalist once told me while interviewing him on a press line, and she had never met him before, that she asked him if he was having a good time and he replied, “No. Because I’m talking to you.” Then she followed up with something about whether or not he was inspired by the gowns he was seeing at the event and he answered, “Not yours” and then walked away.

Seriously. Isn’t that the best sh*t ever?

For her it was a lifetime experience. An honour. And we compare and fight about it all the time – I’ve been withered by Anna Wintour"s cut-eye, she’s been shredded by Tom Ford’s tongue… who wins?

Photos from Splashnewsonline.com