We’ve been driving around LA for 3 days now and they’re everywhere – Knight & Day billboards promoting Tom Cruise and Cameron Diaz.

But where are Tom Cruise and Cameron Diaz???

These budget ass silhouettes are making me crazy. Every time we pass one it makes me crazy. Like straight up furious. Because someone thought this would be a good idea. How is this a great idea? WHAT is this idea? That body, it could be Michael Cera!!!

Movie poster-ing is an underappreciated art. Like the movie poster for Precious. Click here to see an example. Yeah, that’s Precious. But it’s Precious appropriately painted with insight and intelligence and history, evocative of Jacob Lawrence. Precious went on to huge accolades thanks to great reviews but also to very clever marketing These days, with the importance of marketing, as noted by Sarah in the previous article, you’d think they’d put a little more effort into the visual sale.

Clearly, in the case of Knight & Day, we’re still lacking. Which is a shame. Because I like movie stars. And Cruise and Diaz, they are movie stars. But while Sarah posited that Knight & Day will do well, buzz in Hollywood is that the tracking is terrible and while they can still turn it around in two weeks, we could very well be in for a mess. I blame part of that on this f-cking poster. And what this poster stands for. It’s lazy. Even though the star is far from lazy, this sh-t is lazy.

And what of the earnestly hardworking Tom Cruise who must try, try so hard even at this stage of his career? Well he was shooting an ad for ESPN with Cammie D this weekend and decided to take his shirt off. You see now why I’m embarrassed for him?

He’s not enough anymore. It has to be him...wearing a bald patch and chest fur and gold chains. Or him... on a bike with his shirt off. Or him on a bike...with a dummy??? Bless him for his efforts. Of course it’s endearing. But these, these are the antics of a starter pretender. Like Kellan Lutz. When you see it happening to Tom Cruise, this is how you know the couch-jumping really cost him so much. Would Johnny Depp ever...?


Photos from Splashnewsonline.com