I’ll take the dog.

Tori Spelling and her husband KFed Jr showed up in NYC on Saturday at The Out 100 Awards. You know how gays love drag queens.

As you can see, she has her push presents full on display. Normally, as I understand it from ALL of my girlfriends popping out children, it’s now becoming in vogue for baby fathers to present their baby mothers with gifts upon baby delivery. Most of the time it’s jewellery.

Given that KFed Jr is a golddigger who married and sired for a bank account, clearly the Spelling arrangement goes in the opposite direction.

Which is why Tori’s Push Present for Junior was supposedly a new set of tits, if only to entice him to swallow back the vomit while he’s fathering his 2nd paycheque. Well played Junior. Well played indeed.

And just because I’ll shamelessly use any excuse to post pictures of my own dog, here’s my Marcus on a rainy morning at home Vancouver, clearly missing his mother. Marcus doesn’t “do” rain. Which is why these photos just arrived in my inbox from my husband with an update – and if you don’t have a dog, STOP READING NOW:

He’s a lazy f*cker. Came home from his walk and has spent the entire time sprawled out on the bed in one of a number of interesting positions at a time. Oh…and it was really cold, rainy and windy when we went out so he pisses on the first bush he can and starts telling me he wants to go back in. So I make him keep going, he turns the corner onto Blenheim and lays down the longest sh*t I’ve seen come out of the little f-cker without breaking in pieces. This is how your dog operates. Then of course he took me down the alley shortcut and back into bed.

Photos from WENN