The bottom of the barrel.

Imagine you’re Kevin Federline Junior. You walk out on your wife and kids, including a newly adopted daughter, for a road you thought would be paved with Dynasty and 90210 gold. You must train your gag reflex not to kick in at the sight of your new bride. You get called a schmuck and you give up your birth name…only to end up at the back of a convention hall, stuffed to the brim with has-been tv stars signing autographs for only $20???

This is what happens to golddiggers who pick the wrong prize.

LOVE this article in the Globe & Mail last week – Bill Brioux, a Canadian journalist, finds himself at the “Airport Marriott Hotel to investigate an event called the Hollywood Collectors & Celebrities Show.”

Does it get much lower than an airport hotel?


Mr Brioux happens upon a booth, manned by Jr and his Tori, where the two were selling autographed photos from the West Beverly days for $20 a pop.


$20 a pop.

The shame!

The daughter of Aaron Spelling hustling it with Chyna – remember the female wrestler??? – and a slew of other has-beens hawking her signature in a washed up ballroom full of carpet stains and cold overcooked chicken for an audience of losers with nothing better to do but spend their money on television trading cards on a hot summer day.

How much longer before Junior bails for Heather Mills?

Here he is, looking grim and tired, dragging his meal ticket around New York today promoting themselves.

That dress – Duana, is this the dress I tried on at House of Petro Zillia? You were right: never wear sateen on camera.

PS. They may be treating these two with kid gloves in America, but here in Canada, our newspapers will not hesitate to tear these two down, in the most respectable of ways, of course.

Click here and here for examples.

Photos from