Tory Burch and Lance Armstrong are over. Distance is the official reason, the unofficial reason is probably because he’s a dickhead. Don’t get me wrong… once upon a time Lance was the ultimate Quiveration and a former #1 on the Freebie Five. But just because he crusades for cancer doesn’t make him a nice boyfriend or even a considerate husband.

Lance is all about Lance.

And Lance is all about dating clones. Tory looks like his ex wife Kik, Tory also looks like Sheryl Crow, and Sheryl looks very much like her good friend Jennifer Aniston. Now that Jennifer isn’t rocking Orly Bloom to sleep after sex, an Aniston/Armstrong is almost just as perfect as her fictional romance with Three Whiskers.

But Jen the great Friend would never violate Girl Code, would she? Think on it for the next giveaway.