Thank you for your requests for more Twi-Hard hatemail. They just haven’t been very creative lately. “I want to kick you in the c-nt” has been done too many times. And better, frankly, by Brangelunatics and Jennifer Aniston fans.

Today however there appears to be a crisis. I woke up to several messages in my personal inbox, panicked queries about the status of “Robsten”, from Twi-Hards begging for reassurance that Bella and Edward are ok.

And why?

Well it appears that Kristen Stewart was photographed – click here to see – arriving in New Orleans from Los Angeles having spent the weekend there, where her family lives and where Hollywood operates, for a few business related duties. Apparently this is cause for concern across the “fandom”...? (I hate this word. It’s a dumbass word.)

Anyway, thought you might enjoy some of these. The handwringing is really, really amazing.

Lainey, I need you to tell me it’s OK. Please say things are OK between Rob and Kris because I just woke up with a bad feeling. Why is she going to LA without him? Why can’t he just be more supportive of her? He didn’t go to ny with her for the WTTR premiere and now he lets her go to LA by herself? Can you explain this? Thanks, Julia M

dear lainey,i know you hate twilight questions but since kristen stewart was spotted arriving at the nola airport yesterday by paps coming from la the fandom is freaking out thinking she and robert pattinson have called it quits,so i'd like to ask you to check their status with your sources and report back on your blog if possible. From Abby S

Hi Lainey, I know your just going to make fun of us anyway but desperate times calls for desperate measures and we need to know if Rob and Kristen are still together. I’m sure you know that she was in LA by herself this weekend and that’s just not sitting well. Don’t f-cken question why we care, we just do so I’d appreciate if you just gave us the answers without your stupid comments. No one thinks you’re funny, we just think your old and jealous but you do have good info so spill bitch. Put us out of our misery! From Ally K
Rob would go anywhere that Kristen asked but she never asks. He always go see her on her movies. He is a perfect boyfriend. She doesn’t want to be a part of this relationship. This trip by herself to LA just proves it. She don’t deserve him, I hope he wakes up to this. I am sick of everyone thinking they are so perfect together. Please write back and confirm that he dumped her. Thank you. From Brenda

Imagine how suffocating it must be. To be attached to a sh-tty franchise and enslaved by its fans to the point where even a brief trip on her own results in widespread straight up psychosis. How many people called in sick to work today?

File photo from