First fellow has been the subject of gay speculation for years. He’s had the luxury of hiding behind those with a higher profile and then later in obscurity while others have dominated the smutty landscape. Not that it would matter either way but it’s been decided for the greater good by committee that he remain vague about the fact that he likes boys better than girls.

Vague is better than fraud. And picking up in Gaytown is much better than doing it 70s style in the forest like George Michael. Now that he’s single, having broken up with a longterm boyfriend, with whom he was living openly back home, he was seen at 2am very recently in an area where the homos hang, propositioning a male acquaintance to join him back at the hotel. Unfortunately he had his signals crossed. The object of his sleepover was not interested.

Second fellow is a full on fraud, and it would appear that his now defunct relationship was an attempt to cover a close friendship that was tingling all our smutty senses. The man who made him has since leaked several stories to make sure his female fanbase doesn’t defect. Which is why, the next night across town at the afterparties, he felt secure enough to make out hard and wet, boogie and get down, with a boy rather light on his feet, in more ways than one, but much less famous. Now he and Britney have something in common.