Safe to say Us Weekly was never in the running for the first exclusive shots of the Holy Jolie Twins. As such, in a bold pre-emptive move, Janice Min and her clever gossips are trying to squeeze as much money out of the twins-obsessed public as they can, in advance of those highly anticipated photos sure to annihilate newsstand sales for everyone else – likely in People Magazine or OK!, both bitter rivals of Us Weekly.

But just because Us isn’t getting the pictures, doesn’t mean they don’t have a better story. Take a look at the latest cover – totally explosive!

The magazine cites Jennifer Aniston’s friends inside sources who claim that Knox and Vivienne were conceived in vitro because Brad and Angelina were “too impatient”. There’s also something about Brad pushing Angie for biological babies instead of adopted ones, and more salacious smutty details to cure your summer blues.

How will the Pitts fight back? And will this expedite the deal for those photos? Two little faces to obliterate the In Vitro affair?

This is the sh*t we live for.