Us Weekly is reporting that Guy Ritchie has tossed off Madonna for this woman - Kelly Reilly, an actress in his Sherlock Holmes. She’s, like, half Madge’s age.

Oh snappy snaps!

She’s attractive, this Kelly.

But she’s brave. She’s brave to move in on the Queen’s territory. The Queen does not forgive. Kelly is not safe.

Other details in the magazine: Guy was verbally abusive, telling Madonna she was too shriveled to f&ck, and she apparently slapped him when he crossed the line. Slapping can be returned though.

Friends on both sides are mobilising in defence - most likely at the request of the couple. More bombshells to come...

File photos from Wenn.com