2017 being a nonsense year, it makes perfect sense that Val Kilmer went on a weekend-long tweet-spree to declare his admiration of Cate Blanchett. It starts with his announcement on March 24 that he “flew all the way to Australia just to talk to Cate Blanchett”, only to meet her husband, Andrew Upton, instead.
Once I flew all the way to Australia just to talk to Cate Blanchett. Her husband met me first. Or, instead, I guess, to be accurate. pic.twitter.com/xSoYxRi0jh— Val Kilmer (@valkilmer) March 24, 2017
Then he tells us about his dreams, which have featured Cate Blanchett, and not her husband.
Then he breaks from posting photos from Ground Zero to tell us what an amazing person Blanchett is:
She's just as amazing in person. Some super stars aren't-Some superstars don't do a thing to ya in person-Cate is so real it's almost unreal— Val Kilmer (@valkilmer) March 25, 2017
And that he did a cameo just to be in a scene with Cate Blanchett, and she so “dazzled” him, he forgot his line:
Once I did a cameo just to hang w/ #cateblanchett who pickd up a shovel in our sc. I was so dazzled by HOW she picked it up I forgot my line— Val Kilmer (@valkilmer) March 25, 2017
Then he goes back to posting photos from the World Trade Center. Totally normal Saturday.
He has since deleted some of the tweets but you can find everything he wrote here.
Having a crush on Cate Blanchett is completely understandable because she is Incomparable and probably most of us have a crush on her. But Kilmer went on the defensive, asserting that his #BlanchettLove is driven by the “highest respect and admiration” for a “great talent”.
Except he also nudge-nudge-wink-winked that she’s totally gorgeous and he so would even if she wasn’t talented.
I’m starting to get the picture here. The movie Kilmer and Blanchett appeared in together is The Missing from 2003, several years after Elizabeth and the Hummingbird Dress. That double-whammy was the genesis of many Blanchett Crushes, including Val Kilmer’s, apparently. Ever since then, poor Andrew Upton has been running defense for his wife because she has an ardent admirer who actually has access to her since he is also an established actor.
But Madmartigan is not to be denied, and so he takes to Twitter to express his, um, appreciation for the Incomparable Cate. Is it inappropriate? Probably. Are his tweets vaguely creepy? Undoubtedly. But is Val Kilmer so far beyond the pale? Is he any different from the rest of us peons, looking upon La Blanchett in awe and wonder? YES BECAUSE HE FLEW TO F*CKING AUSTRALIA, UNINVITED, JUST TO TALK TO HER AND THAT IS F*CKING BANANAS.
He also “love love love love loves” Jessica Chastain.
This wild ride is brought to you by Iceman’s Complete Lack Of Chill.