Worst Dressed: Vanessa Minnillo
Don’t ask me what she was doing there. I have no idea. Nor do I care. But I’m beginning to think she’s bitten off a bit too much Jessica and can’t find her way home. What in the name of good taste is this??? Tacky, loud, cheap, this sh*t is worse than a regular mall…this sh*t is what I call Chinese Mall, and if you’ve never had the pleasure, I suggest you drive out to a suburb and get your groove on. My people – in North America we’re like the new frontiersmen, building settlements away from the urban centres, strip malls and plazas, mini-Hong Kongs spread out every two or three kilometres, filled with noodle houses, cell phone stands, video arcades, our own grocery stores, and of course the requisite clothing shoppes frequented by the FOB folks, abbreviated for something you might find rather offensive, a term we Canadian-born Chinese affectionately call the ones who come on over and don’t bother learning English. I know you know who I’m talking about. Anyway, what’s weird about them is that while they have no problem spending thousands of dollars on the latest LV or Prada sunglasses and bags, they do seem to have fallen light years behind the white woman in tasteful fashion. Dresses two inches too long or too short, seams falling apart, the fabric is either too tight or too loose, and for some reason, they’re obsessed with crazy embroidery, not unlike Vanessa’s adornments – an eyesore, an overkill of colour, definitely something my mother would approve of which is, needless to say, the kiss of death on the red carpet. Is this a sign of things to come? Is Nick Lachey drawn to cheese? Can you believe Vanessa Minnillo out-cheesed Jessica Simpson??? That wraps the Emmys. Thoughts? And don’t forget…VMAs on Thursday – more fashion classy, more fashion assy.