Johnny Depp is #1, loins up, on the Lifetime Freebie Five. Johnny, as previously explained, is much much much too perfect for just one night. Johnny is every night. Forever.

But if there were a GirlCrush Freebie Five, his lover Vanessa Paradis would also without a doubt be on top too. Back in the dark days of stupidity, I used to think she looked like a witch. But now…Johnny is right. Johnny fell in love with a magnificent woman.

Here’s Vanessa grooving on stage in France in support of her new album Divinidylle. Click here for the video to her first single. It’s catchy, it’s light, it’s infectious, irresistible, and impossibly charming.

And she’s gorgeous.

I want her. He has her. I love them.